#31 Prophetic meeting

I went to a wedding last Thursday and it was such a great experience. Usually when I go to weddings, I have that anxiety of 'I don't know anyone and I'm gonna look like a loser standing by myself for the ceremony', or 'I'm gonna be sitting next to the weird second cousins from Westport at the reception'. Luckily the latter didn't happen and maybe I did look like a bit of a loner at the actual wedding but I ended up spending the afternoon chatting to the most interesting woman I have ever met.


When I think about it now, it was definitely a prophetic  meeting. We hit it off straight away when she made a joke about praying in tongues, and she didn't look at me weird when every two minutes blow flies were landing on my head (it was an outdoor wedding), I think my short hair was mistaken for the blow fly mothership. Anyway, so we chatted away about life while eating the best fruit kebabs I have ever eaten. So it turns out she is a councillor and really in tune with the Spirit, and has a real gift in the prophetic. She asked me a few questions about my life and I talked a wee bit about my past. Long story short - I asked her to pray for me and see if God wanted to do anything in that moment. She was very obliging and we sat on the grass and she prayed...


It was amazing. I immediately felt a real sense of peace and broke a few things that had been hovering over me from my mother (I know this sounds all airy fairy but this is very real to me). Never once did I sense this woman was a weirdo, I am always wary of "spiritual people" and their quirks but this woman all there, real, honest and most of all humble. Everything she prayed about was on the mark, it was crazy and awesome. After she prayed I thought I would test it - getting all skeptical in my old age and I asked her if she knew my dad's name, or if God would tell her what my dad's name was (Obviously she didn't know what his name was, nor had I mistakenly said it - I'm no fool). She was like "Oh really? Haha", and was game enough to humour me. So she waited on God and said "His name starts with P". I couldn't help but start laughing... "Yes it does." "His name is Paul." Unbelievable - she was right.


I don't know what you think of this story, but that was one of the coolest afternoons I have had in a long time. She was so cool and so down to earth. I wasn't expecting an encounter with God that afternoon but I think it has been planned for a long time. I love unexpected things like that. 


The wedding was beautiful, a beautiful bride inside and out and a marriage that I think will flourish - was a privilege to witness the beginning of it. Great way to end a year I say.

#30 New years resolute my ass

A good friend of mine said the other day as we were sitting by a camp fire on the beach laying down our hopes for the year that new years resolutions were a joke... and... I couldn't agree more. They're all the same, I'm gonna lose 10kgs this year or I'm gonna join a gym or I'm gonna get all A's at uni or I'm gonna be happy this year. And of course they never come into fruition, you've gone to the gym 10 times for the whole year, you got a couple of B's, you gained another 5kgs - but that's ok, you needed the extra fat for winter. Are new years resolutions good goal makers? Or do they just set us up for that sick feeling on the 31st of December when you realise the whole year was a sham. 


2008 for me was 'the year of the body', 'the year of thank you', 'the year of something else' - I even typed it up and put it on my wall at the expense of jokes by flatties. Needless to say I never gained the 10kgs I was supposed to, nor was I grateful enough to warrant a pat on the back at the end of the year. So the year in my eyes was a sham - even though I had accomplished quite a lot in that year. So 2009 was 'the year of the body, part 2': gain 5 kgs - and even then I only gained 4, then lost it again... failure. 2010 was the year of nothing, I didn't really make any resolutions, all I did was decide that I was going to move to Auckland, and I did... tick... success! 


I'm not saying goals are bad, or new years resolutions are from the devil. But sometimes I think we are setting ourselves to fail because they are just rediculous. Being a size 8 isn't all it is made up to be, and you're not going to find security lifting a bar bell everyday... but maybe every second day?


I don't really know what I am trying to say in this post, I'm definitely not saying don't make goals, or that you shouldn't make resolutions for the year. I guess I'm saying make them realistic... you're not a failure, 'nothing' years are normal and each year there is always growth, something to learn. So may this year for you all be fruitful, amazing, heart breaking, joyful and most of all, may you know that you are significant and so loved in the Father's eyes - and if you don't believe it, there is someone in your life who thinks you are the bees knees... honest. 


So this year I probably won't gain any weight, but if I do - great, if I don't - who cares. I probably won't save 10 grand, but if I do - that's awesome, if I don't - maybe I'll enroll in a money saving course. Thank God we are not what we do or accomplish!

#29 I'll be home for Christmas

I'll be home for Christmas (thanks to a great guy I have befriended, you know who you are). See you soon Christchurch, can't wait to hold my family.

#28 There is nothing wrong with me

Recently I have been seeing a great counsellor, and it has been hard but undeniably on the mark. It's a different kind of counselling and I know as soon as I say 'different' people may be put off - it's funny how anything unknown always comes to us with a 'warning warning warning' siren. Let me explain, most counselling is called 'indirect' counselling which is the cliche questions like "how does that make you feel?" or "what do you think?". But there is a thing called 'directive' counselling which for me, I find most helpful - because when I finally decide to go to counselling, I have done all the self analysis, the soul searching, the asking questions and now I just want some bloody advice and to be told what is going on in my head, instead of asking me questions that I have already asked myself. And I'll be honest, I don't have the time or money for that sort of session. 


I love counselling. It is unbelievably helpful. The most significant thing I have learnt so far is that when I was young, about 5 or so, I decided there was something wrong with me, it was deep in my subconscious, it was my theme song - and it has dictated so many of my decisions and my beliefs about myself. It explains so much of my behaviour over the years, especially my teenage years. My longing for acceptance by my peers and when I was finally accepted, I couldn't believe it because 'there was something wrong with me'. 


This revelation is changing my life, because I am starting to believe there is nothing wrong with me... I am normal, the same as everyone else, I am equal to everyone on the planet. We really are all in this together. 

#27 Dare you

Dare you to live without anxiety, dare you to live like you weren't the butt of every joke. Dare you to love like you were never hurt, dare you to cry like a child. Dare you to believe your parent’s divorce wasn’t your fault. Dare you to believe in yourself. Dare you to hope for your life, dare you to hope in yourself. Dare you to see the good in people, dare you to see the good in yourself. Dare you to love your family. Dare you to sing, dare you to dance in front of people. Dare you to believe you don't have to be alone, dare you to break out of your seclusion. Dare you to not be selfish with your time, dare you to not be selfish with your money. Dare you to work like you were working for yourself. Dare you to eat better, dare you to exercise. Dare you to start being wise with your money. Dare you to not be judgmental, dare you to stop comparing yourself with others. Dare you to believe you are significant. Dare you to forgive everyone who has hurt you, dare you to believe you are forgiven for everything. Dare you to live. Dare you to laugh everyday. Dare you to start loving yourself, dare you to believe that you are lovable. Dare you not to punish yourself, dare you not to hate yourself. Dare you to believe you are loved, dare you to love others. Dare you to tell the people you love that you love them. Dare you to move on from the past, dare you to acknowledge that everyone is broken. Dare you to choose freedom. Dare you to be real. Dare you to tell your story. Dare you to become. Dare you to make a goal. Dare you to open your heart. Dare you not to lose yourself to superficial thinking. Dare you to believe He died for you, dare you to seek the Creator. Dare you to get up get up and do something, dare you to make your own decisions. Dare you to take captive every thought, dare you not to be dictated by fear. Dare you to move on, dare you to move. Dare you to remember tomorrow is another day, dare you to make the most of your day. Dare you to believe it won't always be like this. Dare you to feed your spirit. Dare you to see past yourself. Dare you to be humble, dare you to admit you're wrong. Dare you to grow up. Dare you to be honest. Dare you to open the curtains, dare you to look in the mirror and not hate what you see. Dare you to remember He is with you always, even till the very end of the age.

Dare you to be the person you dreamed you would be, dare you to work hard to get there. Dare you to chase it with your heart. Dare you to believe you are amazing. Dare you to believe you are the only one like you, dare you

to be you.