Monday, June 27, 2011

#45 Frustration station

What do you do when what you're doing is not what you want to do anymore?

I'm in a really strange space at the moment. The things I really cared about I don't really care about anymore. I just don't care anymore, and I don't know what to do. I look around my room, think about my life and go "What the hell am I doing? Who are you?" I haven't lost myself, I just don't have any time to think and do the things that really matter to me. My room is a mess and I feel like a mess.

I miss spending time with the Father (aka God). He is the only certain thing I know. I'm just ready to give up everything I have done up here. None of that crap really matters in the end. It's not as if I am going to bring my CV to Heaven, but I will be bringing myself, so I kind of want to like myself if you know what I mean.

I want to scream and run away, throw my hands in the air and drive. I am over it.
Since that is not even an option, I am going to have a massive clean of my room and chuck some of the junk away. Less is more. Maybe then I will be able to think, and stop thinking about the stuff that is getting me down.

I am so frustrated at the moment, something is nipping at my heels and I don't know why or what it is.

Time to vacuum.

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