Sunday, October 24, 2010

#17 Dead in the water

What's the point? That is a question a friend asked me tonight. What's the point of what? Of life I suppose, the point of doing, of trying, of accomplishing. Why bother if we are all going to die and leave it all behind. I've asked myself the same question. What the hell is the point of this, study, work, living. It's all the same, paying rent, paying bills, buying petrol, buying groceries, sleeping, eating, driving to work, meeting people who will let you down. 

I think there is a point in there somewhere. There HAS to be a point otherwise we are all mistakes and it becomes pointless trying to find the point in the first place... dead in the water basically. Materially we do leave everything behind, but I don't think we leave ourselves behind, unfortunately I believe we are going to be with 'ourselves' forever, but not BY ourselves (and by unfortunate I mean it is unfortunate if you don't particularly like yourself, but great if you do). So I think the 'point' is that we become people who we like and are proud to be. I think that is the journey, to learn to truly love ourselves, because we can't love others if we hate ourselves - and loving others is another point. Easier said than done especially if life has been hard for you. I believe there is a Father who is the essence of love, the creator of love. Some might call him God, Ala, or a Higher Source, I call Him Father, and I call His Son Jesus. I guess I am reluctant to reveal this information because of the connotations, and I always like to make a disclaimer, for example:

- I don't hate people who are attracted to the same sex, I couldn't care less. More than anything I admire their courage.
- I try my hardest to not be a hypocrite or judgmental. 
- I do not support street evangelism, seriously I'm just trying to eat my lunch, leave me alone, and stop yelling at me. 
- Door knockers, go away.
- I have never forced my beliefs on anyone and never will.
- I am not religious, meaning I don't do things because I have to, I'm the boss of my own being so I do things because I want to.

There are other things I could add but I can't think of anymore right now. Anyway the reason I bring all this up is because love is not all around, and the only way we can ever really learn to love ourselves is if we are constantly told we are loved, that we are significant, that we are worth something. And I don't think any of my friends have the time or energy to tell me that ten times a day. To be honest, when someone says something like that to me my automatic reaction is to not believe it, because I have all this knowledge about myself that they don't know and if they did they probably wouldn't say it. So I put it aside and maybe look at it now and then. But if they made a giant mural telling me how much they love me I think I would eventually believe them. Grand gestures... it's all about grand gestures - and He made the biggest grand gesture of them all. So the point is we need to be close to a source of love, and you can't get any better than 'LOVE' itself. The Father really is love, ignore all the idiots who depict otherwise, it makes me sick and extremely angry some of the things people have done in the name of 'God'. 

Lyrics I like and relate to:

The world is too big to never ask why,
the answers don't fall straight out of the sky.
I've been fighting to live and feel alive,
but I can't feel a thing without you by my side.

Not sure if this has made any sense. To summarise I think the point of life is to grow into the person we were born to be, and all the monotonous things of life are there to help us become, and basically I can't do that without a little help.

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